The “waiting” cycle was hard, but we tried to focus on staying positive and spending time together.
The ERA (Endometrial Receptivity Assay) was here. This is a measure of how many hours of progesterone your body needs in order to be receptive for the embryo. Most women need 120 hours but in a small amount of cases, women have displaced “windows of implantation” (WOI) and may need more or less hours.
The first transfer I was given the option of vaginal progesterone cream or PIO (progesterone in oil) which are 1.5 needles that need to be injected through the muscle (aka your backside). CLEARLY I chose the vaginal ones! Since it did not work, she suggested I switch to the needles. This meant I had to inject shots for five days, then have the biopsy.
This is a picture of the subcutaneous needles I am used to (on the right) vs. the new needles that I now have to do (on the left).
There is NO WAY that I can inject them myself, but I decided to suck it up and allow Jeff to do it. Just when we thought the worst was behind me with 97 shots, I now had to face an infinite number of more painful ones. I was angry.
My dear friend bought me this necklace to remind me how strong I am and to keep going.
We even had a beautiful rainbow around this time which served as a reminder that I am stronger than I think.
” God puts rainbows in the clouds so that each of us-in the dreariest and most dreaded moments-can see a possibility of hope”- Maya Angelou
The day that the shots started, I needed some motivational music for me to stay strong and optimistic and I decided to play the song “Whatever It Takes” to keep me strong and focused on our baby.
August 23rd was the day of the uterine biopsy and IT WAS BRUTAL!! My previous Dr (the one who went out on maternity and performed my transfer) was performing it for me that day. She informed me that it would be uncomfortable, but I would count out loud to ten and then it would be over.
As she was “down there” it started to hurt and I asked if I could start counting. She informed me “not yet” – which meant it was about to get worse. “Count” she said!
ONE came out normal but two through nine were blood curdling screams as I cried in pain and grabbed Jeff’s hand for dear life. That. Was. AWFUL!!
The amazing nurse Angela let us know that they got a good amount of tissue for testing, so I should not have to repeat it (and quite honestly I don’t think I physically could). She had me lay on the table until my shaking stopped, color came back to my face, and my blood pressure returned to normal. She also let us know that we have to continue the PIO shots for 5 more days in order to prolong the start of my next period. Awesome. Every time we think we know what to expect, we are thrown a curveball.
“Whip, whip
Run me like a racehorse
Pull me like a ripcord
Break me down and build me up
I wanna be the slip, slip
Word upon your lip, lip
Letter that you rip, rip
Break me down and build me up
Whatever it takes
‘Cause I love the adrenaline in my veins
I do whatever it takes
‘Cause I love how it feels when I break the chains
Whatever it takes
You take me to the top I’m ready for
Whatever it takes
‘Cause I love the adrenaline in my veins
I DO WHAT IT TAKES!”
Whatever It Takes by Imagine Dragons
breakdown and rally 