Fortunately for me, I had a girls’ weekend planned with some work friends. Although I could not drink, I was able to dance to some great music and laugh until my cheeks hurt. This helped to pass the time and make the wait just a little more bearable. On the tenth day (Dec 14th) we went into the clinic for our morning blood draw.
Once we returned, I made Jeff wear our matching pajamas, set up our iPad for any results to be documented, and waited impatiently for the call. When the nurse told us that my beta was 454, we were in complete shock! This high number was foreign to us. We both burst into tears and apologized to the nurse on the phone. She told us that we would return in three days to make sure that number doubles.
Once we hung up the phone, we composed our tears and reminded ourselves that we have been here before, and we just need to take it one day – one step – at a time. Three days later (12/17), we went back for another blood draw and awaited the call. This time it was our incredible doctor congratulating us on our pregnancy, and letting us know our beta more than doubled to 1723. Still in shock, and completely unsure of how to process the news, she told us that we no longer needed blood drawn, but rather would wait until the seventh week (January 3rd) for an ultrasound to see the gestational sac. She also told us that would be our last appointment with them, and to call my OB to make an eight week appointment with them. We were excited, but also so very guarded and refused to celebrate until we could see our baby on the screen. I picked up the phone several times to call my OB, but just could not seem to dial the phone to say the words, “I am pregnant.” Logistically, I knew that if I wanted an appointment quickly, I had no choice but to muster up the courage and do it. As soon as I hung up, I burst into tears, praying that I did not jinx things.
Christmas came and went, and we kept thinking what a blessing it would be if this was our last Christmas as a family of two.
January 3rd – We brought cake pops and left them in the car, just in case we had good news and this was our last time here. We were called into the room and in the quickest, most anti-climatic way we heard, “There’s your little nugget.” Jeff jokingly asked, “Where’s the confetti?” The technician printed us pictures, and offered congratulations. We sat with the Dr. for a minute, and I had Jeff go grab the cake pops. I couldn’t help but cry and attempt to find the words to thank the one person that guided us towards this path. If it were not for her, we would not be here. From the first day I met her, she saw the pain in our eyes and empathized with our story. She was knowledgeable enough in her profession to never have to check her screen for protocols, or look down at her paperwork to learn about us. She saw us, and for that reason, we trusted her. She is my hero. Before we exited her office, I had Jeff hide the ultrasound pictures and I made us take a deep breathe to contain our excitement. I knew we would be walking past a lobby full of women who were still fighting so hard for their baby, and I knew with every ounce of my being what that was like.
“And it’s a great day to be alive
I know the sun’s still shining
When I close my eyes
There’s some hard times in the neighborhood
But why can’t every day be just this good”
It’s a Great Day to be Alive by Travis Tritt
breakdown and rally 