We have spent the last month working on being positive. I once read that hope is believing that something good can happen, but faith is knowing it will. I refuse to refer to this as our fourth transfer; it is THE transfer. It is going to happen for us. I go to a hypnotherapist every weekend for guided meditation. I continue to see the Mercier Therapist who keeps my positivity in check. I have stopped all alcohol and caffeine. I am ready. Jeff is ready. We are ready.
January 4th: Dr. Braverman (the Reproductive immunologist from NYC) calls for our consultation and indicates that he believes I have endometriosis. Even though I have zero symptoms, even though I already had a laparoscopy to remove my cyst/ovary and that oncologist did not discover any. He says he sees cases like this all of the time where young woman are having recurrent implantation failure and recurrent miscarriage due to the endometriosis affecting the mitochondria. He believes that Dr. Vidali in New Jersey is the best surgeon to look for and extract it and he suggests a full blood panel (20+ vials of blood) and a diagnostic laparoscopy as our next steps. If we went down this route it would cost $3,000 just for bloodwork, and at least an additional $8,000 for out of network procedures. We consider this information, but ultimately decide to continue on our path with current clinic and keeping the faith that we know we are on the correct path to our baby. God may be taking extra time, but he is busy making the most perfect baby for us.
Jeff even bought us pineapple keychains to remember to stay positive, and he bought me a pineapple necklace!
January 24th: Transfer is here! We are so excited, we know that it is our time. 24 is my favorite number (my birthday is 2-4). The transfer occurred in a different room than the others, the Dr. and the nurse had a little friendly disagreement about the location of the monitor, the embryologist was missing when they were calling for our embryo. We laughed because, “This is so us,” – this is unconventional, this is perfect, this is it! We even asked if we could stay in the room and lay on the table longer this time. I had the whole day off from work to rest, and the next day (Friday) I was in meetings, so I was off my feet, and then we took it easy over the weekend. We decided that we would not test using home pregnancy tests this time because our faith is in God, and we want to experience a positive phone call from the clinic. We also learn that beta day falls on Superbowl Sunday! As Patriot fans, we joked that this was another sign because it was finally our Superbowl Baby!
February 1: Jeff and I attended the 40th birthday of one of our best friends, and we asked the owner of the place to let us “shoot up” in a private space. Mission Accomplished!
February 2: Jeff is not feeling well so I go out shopping on my own. I find myself at the Paper Store, a place I never go. I walk down an aisle that has all Christmas items and amongst all of the decor, I discover a rainbow ornament. The only one item that was not “Christmas themed” was a rainbow! Another sign that our rainbow baby is finally coming!
February 3: Beta Day! The phone call comes……
It’s a low positive so they are cautiously optimistic. We have to wait two days for another blood draw to see if the level doubles. We are terrified, but faithful. I ran into the bathroom to take a HPT test and it was positive!!!!
No matter what, this experience was different for us, we are so much stronger now than we ever were before, and we can get through it.
Also, Patriots win 🙂
“Oh, this has gotta be the good life
This has gotta be the good life
This could really be a good life, good life
Say oh, got this feeling that you can’t fight
Like this city is on fire tonight
This could really be a good life
A good, good life”
Good Life by One Republic
breakdown and rally 